I never knew this was inside of me...

Monday, September 22, 2008

Creativity, and it speaks thru me in the colors, techniques and patterns I choose for my scrapbook pages. I never knew that this was inside of me until I found the love and support I have from my husband. I remember saying to my mother when I was 5 "mom, what am I good at?" She answered, "lots of things" and rushed out the door to work. I remember thinking to myself after she'd gone, she just said that because she was in a hurry I don't think I am good at anything. I always remember wanting to fit in and being awkward around the other girls who were wearing pretty dresses and bows in their hair. I wore jeans and they were always short because I had long legs and a t-shirts,scuffed up tennis shoes and my hair was messy. In high school I took art and pottery classes as my electives and my projects were OK, but I always worried like when I finished my chores at home that I'd done something wrong and it wouldn't be good enough. I stopped doing anything artistic at all.

It was only after I had Scott that I began to open myself up again to try things that were outside of my comfort level. I stuck to playing tennis with friends, and going out dancing alot because I knew I was good at those things and felt confident when I did them.

But only in the last 3 years have I really felt like I could express what I was feeling when I looked at embellishments in stores and papers on the rack. I would be at work and during the day I sat thinking of pictures I'd recently taken and how I could arrange them with certain card stocks I had in my stash. As I sat there arranging and creating layouts in my head, I could not wait to get home and put them together.

Now when I finish my layouts I still have that feeling inside that maybe it's not good enough or I didn't get it just right, but then my husband comes down the hall, looks at my work, smiles and says "it looks great baby" and I feel ..."finally am good at something".


Janene said...

You are an amazing artist, a fabulous mother,a wonderful wife, and a true friend. You have many things you are not only good at, but GREAT at. Your creativity inspires me to be better at crafting. You can do anything you put your mind to...open up and let what is inside of you shine.

Denise said...

Hi, Love what you wrote...I just want to tell you that I love coming to your blog to check out your new creations...You are very creative and it shows through your work! Keep it up, Girl!

Kataroo said...

You my dear are VERY DAMN GOOD!!!!! and thank-you for sharing this it was beautiful and would be great on a page :) hint

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